


A Shred of Hope

by flashforeward



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Kingsman: The Golden Circle Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2017-09-28
Packaged: 2019-01-06 15:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flashforeward/pseuds/flashforeward
Summary: There isn't a chance, not really, but they're going to try anyway.





	A Shred of Hope

"He must have jumped clear," Harry said when they found Merlin. He was more intact than they'd been expecting. Harry knelt beside his friend, reaching out but stopping short of touching him. "Something to bury, at least," he said, his voice quiet.  
  
"D'you think," Eggsy started, then gestured to Harry's eyes when the other man looked up.  
  
"We haven't got any, Eggsy," Harry said.  
  
"On the plane?"  
  
Harry shook his head, stood slowly. "It's been too long, he's gone," he said. "Besides, the gel is designed for head wounds, not...," he trailed off and gestured at Merlin's body. Torso, arms, and head were torn up by shrapnel, but still relatively whole. From the waist down, Merlin was gone.  
  
"Don't we have to try?" Eggsy asked. Harry held his gaze for a moment then gave a sharp nod and knelt again. He shed his jacket and wrapped it around Merlin's waist, a makeshift bandage. Then, carefully, he slid his hands under Merlin's torso, Eggsy on the other side, and together they carried their friend's remains back to the plane and the smallest shred of hope they had left.  
  
It was longer than a long shot, but Eggsy was right. They had to try.  
  
\--  
  
It took more time to figure out how to apply the gel than Harry liked. The longer without treatment the more likely it was that Merlin was gone for good. Maybe they only got one miracle and they'd bloody gone and wasted it on _him_ , he thought.  
  
In the end, they laid Merlin out on the pool table and applied as many gel packs as they could before activating the gel. Harry left Eggsy sitting vigil while he went to fly. He'd rather have been at Merlin's side, but someone had to get them home.  
  
Well.  
  
To Kentucky, anyway.  
  
\--  
  
"This isn't what the gel was designed for," Ginger said, studying the Alpha Gel bandage that was Merlin's waist.  
  
"But did it work?" Eggsy asked.  
  
Ginger met his gaze. "I have to run some tests," she said. "But don't get your hopes too high, all right?" She looked back down at Merlin, her expression soft and sad. "He's lost a lot of blood." She didn't say _among other things_. She didn't have to.  
  
\--  
  
More waiting.  
  
Eggsy was pacing, but Harry just sat, still and quiet.  
  
Then, suddenly. "I lied."  
  
Eggsy stopped. "What?"  
  
"When I said I didn't have any attachments," Harry explained, not meeting Eggsy's gaze. "I lied. I have," he stopped, swallowed hard, and when he continued his voice was choked and quiet. "I had Merlin."  
  
Eggsy didn't say anything for a minute and Harry wondered if he heard, then Eggsy was crouched in front of him trying to meet his gaze, reaching out but not touching. "What?" he asked again.  
  
"I loved him, Eggsy," Harry explained, eyes fixed on the floor. He didn't want to see Eggsy react to his words, but he had to say them. Had to get them out. "I never told him but." He shook his head. "Right now I wish. I wish I could go back and change that."  
  
"He isn't gone yet," Eggsy said, settling a hand on Harry's arm.   
  
Harry pulled away and stood, sending Eggsy toppling back onto the floor. "Of course he's gone, Eggsy!" he said, pacing towards the door. "He was blown in half and we didn't get to him for too long, you don't just come back from that."  
  
"You don't just come back from a shot to the eye," Eggsy said quietly. He hadn't gotten up, just sat on the floor looking up at Harry.  
  
Harry turned away, hands in his trouser pockets. "This is different," he said. "He's gone, Eggsy. He was gone before we got to him."  
  
"So he's gone," Eggsy said, standing and cautiously coming up beside Harry. He laid a hand gently on Harry's shoulder. "So you can still tell him. Now." A gentle push towards the door. "Go."  
  
\--  
  
"Come on in," Ginger said, spotting Harry in the doorway. Merlin was laid out on a bed, hooked up to so many tubes and machines he may as well have been a machine himself. "He's stable, but we won't know anything concrete until he wakes up." Until, not if. Harry should have been grateful for the word choice, but it just broke his heart even more as he walked slowly into the room, to Merlin's side. He wanted to reach out and take Merlin's hand, but he didn't want to feel the cold and unresponsive flesh, so he just stood there awkwardly with his hands at his sides.  
  
It was quiet, just the beeps of machines. He could feel Ginger watching him. He was almost content to just stand their in silence, but he saw Eggsy in the doorway out of the corner of his eye and he cleared his throat and met Ginger's gaze. "Could I have a minute?" he asked. She nodded and left, she and Eggsy disappearing down the hall.  
  
And then it was just himself and Merlin in the clinical quiet.  
  
"I love you," he said. It barely came out, more of a breath than even a whisper. He cleared his throat, tried again. "I love you." Louder this time, but still quiet. He forced himself to reach out, to take Merlin's hand. "Fuck, I wish I'd told you before," he said. He's crying now, hot tears streaming down his cheeks. "I'll miss you."  
  
Impossibly, he felt a pressure on his hand. It was there for less than a second and gone and he could have imagined it but he wanted so badly for it to be real. So he squeezed back. "I'm sorry, Merlin," he whispered. Then he let go and turned and walked away.  
  
\--  
  
One week.  
  
One week and the impossible happened.  
  
"He's awake," Ginger announced as she came into the room.   
  
Harry could only stare at her, but Eggsy was up in an instant, heading for the hallway. "Come on," he called over his shoulder. Harry followed, not believing for a second that this was anything other than a very vivid dream.  
  
"He's very weak and he needs a lot of rest," Ginger said as they neared Merlin's room. "But he wants to see you."  
  
She was looking at Harry when she said it, but he didn't meet her gaze.  
  
"Merlin!" Eggsy said, jogging into Merlin's room and up to the bed. Merlin was propped up a little. The breathing tube was gone, but the other tubes were still trailing from his body to machines. "How you feeling, mate?" Eggsy asked, exuberant and excited. A child at Christmas.  
  
"How do you think?" Merlin asked. Sardonic.  
  
"Right, sorry." Eggsy's smile slipped. But then Merlin gave a weak one of his own and let out a chuckle and Eggsy relaxed again. "I'm glad you're all right," Eggsy said. "We both are." He glanced at Harry who stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed, eyes flicking around the room so he wouldn't have to look too closely at anything.  
  
"Eggsy, could you give Galahad and I a minute?" Merlin asked.  
  
"Yeah, mate, sure thing." Eggsy patted Merlin on the arm - a gesture that normally would have earned him a glare - then he and Ginger left them.  
  
Alone.  
  
And both awake.  
  
"You made it," Harry said, needing the silence to break.  
  
"You couldn't be the only miracle, could you?" Merlin asked. His voice was quiet. Fond. He lifted his hand, reaching out. "C'mere?" he asked, uncertain.  
  
Harry moved to the side of the bed, didn't pull away when Merlin took his hand. But he still couldn't meet Merlin's gaze.  
  
"Look at me?" Merlin said, squeezing Harry's hand. Harry didn't, not at first. Then he flicked his eyes up and met Merlin's gaze. Merlin turned his hand so their fingers intertwined and tugged lightly so Harry sat perched on the edge of the bed, staring down at his friend. "I love you, too, you eejit," Merlin said quietly. He reached up with his other hand and Harry leaned forward until Merlin could trail cold fingers over his cheek. "You're crying," he whispered.  
  
"I'm not," Harry said, voice choked. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Merlin's, soft and tentative. "I'm not I'm." He kissed Merlin again, felt the smile on Merlin's lips and smiled himself, pressing one more kiss to Merlin's lips before standing quickly, fingers still intertwined with Merlin's. "You should rest," he said.  
  
"You'll be here when I wake up?" Merlin asked, squeezing Harry's hand again.  
  
Harry held his gaze, then sat quietly in the chair Ginger had set up beside the bed. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "I promise"


End file.
